Sex, Gender, Orientation: Pretty Simple.
Alternative Title: “(Wo)man, What the fuck Is Going On?”
Writing this as I fly over the Indian Ocean, heading to London for a work trip powered by the miracle that is satellite internet.
Reading some abc.net.au articles, I just discovered the news that the UK Supreme Court has ruled the definition of a woman is to have been born female. Their stance essentially being “Not a lifetime vagina member? Get fucked”.
Link for those interested in reading
This is honestly a mixture of both frustrating and distressing. Distressing because it seems we’re regressing further back in time, and frustrating because it stems from the same misconception—often perpetuated by conservatives (and, to be fair, some progressives too), that sex equals gender. Not the case, and I’m going to break down my beliefs in the hopes that it might educate maybe someone who stumbles upon this post.
To me (at least), sex is not the same as gender.
“Sex”, to me, is the medical or biological classification of a person’s body. I am male, I was born male, and I have the organs to prove it. Unless I undergo years of biochemistry and body hacking to the point where my body no longer produces the same level of testosterone, I will remain male.
“Gender”, to me, is the identity a person chooses to present socially. For example: Even though I am male, I (hypothetically) may not like presenting as a man. I could instead present socially as a woman or as someone in between, such as non-binary or genderfluid.
You can be male and identify as a woman, you can be female and identify socially as something completely atypical of most people born “female”, or you can be intersex and decide to identify as a man. How wild is that? It shouldn’t be. The two should be entirely separate.
Where does orientation come into this? Simply put, in my opinion, it should not be hard to grasp the concept that sex does not equal gender, just as not all males are attracted to females.
I feel uncomfortable referring to people as “males” and “females”, it’s extremely reductive. But for the sake of this example and in reference to biological status, I guess it’s necessary.
Still confused? Consult the table:
| You may be born a: | But you can identify as (in order of most -> least common of that sex): |
|---|---|
| Male | Man, Woman, Non-binary, Genderfluid, etc. |
| Female | Woman, Man, Non-binary, Genderfluid, etc. |
| Intersex | Man or Woman, Non-binary, Genderfluid, etc. |
But Jon, What about trans people?! Easy.
When I meet trans people I often hear they’re either a transwo/man or a transfe/male. Former is simply they’re identifying as the gender in their term but probably their orignal sex, latter is they’re going the full bodyhacking route (and I salute your courage to do so). That said just ask their preference, it’s not hard, and it’s very respectful. THe sooner society begins to care less about which genitals rest between someones legs (as if you’re ever going to see more than a super slim minority of them irl) the better.